For yourself or your loved ones
As difficult as this topic may be, planning your departure makes it easier on your loved ones when the time comes. It will save your loved ones from having to do so whilst also managing their grief.
There are many aspects to consider, apart from arranging the funeral itself. Outstanding bills, closing accounts, dealing with solicitors and all the associated paperwork can be overwhelming for those left behind. It’s a good idea then to put our affairs in order before we pass on and relieve them of that burden.
Here, you’ll find helpful information on how you can go about putting your affairs in order — both in advance and as the end draws near.
Your next of kin and your executors.
If you’re over 18, your next of kin will be your married spouse and/or your closest blood relatives. If you are under 18, then your parents or legal guardians will automatically take charge of your affairs.
If you don’t have much contact with your closest relatives, you can appoint someone else.
What Does my Next of Kin Have to Do?
They are responsible for:
Registering your death
Informing relatives, friends, and any other associates, that you have died
The Executors
The Executor is responsible for the administration of your Will, gathering up your assets, paying bills, distributing any surplus. You can appoint up to 4 people as executors (they must all be over 18). Appointing at least 2 is a good idea in case one of them dies or becomes unable to carry out their responsibilities. Ideally, select people who are likely to outlive you and who can with your estate competently.
You can appoint a solicitor or a bank as an executor, but they will probably charge a fee.
Many people would rather live the rest of their lives in their own homes rather than move into a residential home. If you are one of these people you should find out what assistance is available to you; both statutory and voluntary.
Facilities
Age UK is able to provide you details regarding the facilities that you could use such as ‘meals on wheels’, day centres and assistance at your home. You might be eligible for financial assistance in the form of an attendance allowance. There are also community nurses attached to many doctor’s surgeries who can assess your needs and help obtain the assistance you need.
Driving
You can apply for a disabled driving permit, if you have difficulty getting about, that enables you (or whoever is driving with you) to park in restricted areas. You might also be able to secure assistance installing chairlifts and railings in your home.
Anything that makes the twilight of your life more bearable is well worth exploring, so don’t be afraid to ask around about what help is out there!
You might get to a point where you feel it is better to move in with a friend or family member, typically a son or daughter. Often this works out well, but it is worth considering a trial run first because remember you have been used to living apart until now.
Being cared for by a friend or relative still means you can get help from the state or voluntary sectors. These can really help remove some of the pressure from those caring for you.
One thing to think about, is moving to live with your children can mean relocating to an unfamiliar part of the country. So, if you would prefer to remain near your friends and acquaintances then you will need to explore other options, preferably while you are still active.
Sheltered housing offers some independence and peace of mind there is someone looking out for you. A retirement home provides you with all your daily needs as well as companionship. If you are very unwell, the best option is a nursing home or a hospice. You should talk with your next of kin to find the right solution for you.
Drawing Up a Will?
Verbal instructions have no legal standing. To make a Will binding, it must be written down.
A Will sets out your assets and ensures they are distributed in line with your wishes and names who will take care of this task (an executor). You can have more than one executor. A Will is only valid if your signature is witnessed by two adults who are not beneficiaries of the Will.
You can use a Do-It-Yourself Will which can be handwritten or typed on ordinary paper if it is witnessed. However, the content must be carefully drafted to be clear. Unclear wording can lead to confusion and difficulties. For example:
“I leave my estate to be divided among my family’
This may sound perfectly adequate, but it is vague and can lead to all kinds of misunderstandings. Does family mean your husband/wife and children, or all your sisters and brothers; Does it includes cousins, does it not include stepchildren etc?
To avoid confusion, write the full name of each beneficiary and direct how you wish your assets to be shared among them. It’s also a good idea to state who should inherit the particular share if the beneficiary should pre-decease you (before you get a chance to update the will). Here’s an example:
“…my brother Alfred Harry White or his children Paul and Geoffrey White should Alfred predecease me”
When apportioning your estate to your beneficiaries, you can either state a lump sum or a percentage of your estate. The final beneficiary will receive what is left after others have received their share of the estate.
It is best practice to have a sentence in the will revoking any previous will you have made. This is used even if you have never made a will before as indicates this is definitely your last Will and testament.
You can find further information on Do It Yourself Wills on the Mind website where you can download a guide or request one be sent to you in the post.
We would recommend using a solicitor to draw up your Will. It’s not expensive and they will ensure it is clear, appropriate, and legally binding. Your local Law Society can provide contact information for solicitors in your area or try The Institute of Professional Will Writers.
Before you visit a solicitor or will maker, put together a preliminary written account of all your assets and how you want them distributed upon your death.
The greater the value of your assets, the more you have to lose if you do not have a clearly worded will.
A Mirror Will
A mirror will is a set of two near identical wills created by spouses that name each other the primary beneficiary of the others assets. Other beneficiary stipulations can be set in the will as desired.
If you die without making a Will, your estate will be distributed to your living relatives according to criteria laid down by law, regardless of your intentions.
If your circumstances change, if you gain or lose assets, if a beneficiary passes, if you get divorced, if someone new has come into your life, or if you’ve simply changed your mind about the division of your assets, remember to update your Will to reflect this. Your executor will only be able to carry out the instructions as they are currently listed.
We recommend you revisit your Will every 5-10 years to check it’s still relevant. Give copies to your executors and next of kin and store the original in a safe place where it can easily be found. If you used a solicitor, they will most likely store it for you. You could also store it at your bank or lodged with the National Will Registry or the Will Registry Office.
In English law, unmarried couples can sometimes hit problems when one partner dies. The surviving partner, unless designated as next of kin, does not have automatic right to arrange the funeral and could potentially miss out on various benefits or the partner’s pension. If no Will has been made, the assets will automatically go to the blood relatives of the deceased, although it is possible to challenge this in court.
List any property you own including your house, car, any heirlooms, or jewelry items you wish to be specific about. Also, list any outstanding loans or mortgages you have, and details of your bank accounts, insurance policies, investments, Premium Bonds and National Savings, etc. Executors cannot prove the Will until they have submitted the Return of Estate Information (https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/inheritance-tax-return-of-estate-information-iht205-2011) form to HM Customs and Revenue, which lists the assets and liabilities of the estate.
Careful planning can usually mean a lot of inheritance tax can be avoided, so consider consulting an Accountant to make sure as much of your estate as possible goes to the people you want it to go to, rather than the government! For the latest information, including tax thresholds, you can refer to the HM Revenue & Customs website.
You can explain your preferences for your funeral and, if you’ve already organised your funeral, give the details in your Will. Some points to consider include:
- Burial or cremation
- Religious ceremony or secular
- Where you want the funeral
- Where you want to be buried, scattered, or kept
- Who do you want to conduct the funeral – local vicar? Family friend?
- Music selection
- Flowers or donations (remember to specify to whom)
- Hospitality following the funeral
Put together a short summation of your life with highlights and important dates – it’s customary for this to be read out during a service.
Consider also discussing your plans and wishes with your next of kin and, also whether you wish to be registered for body or organ donation.
Costs are normally paid out of your estate but there can be a delay in the funds being released. Rather than leave the costs of your funeral to your next of kin, pay into a funeral plan which will release the funds to the Funeral Directors when they submit their invoice.
Prices usually start around 1,500 and are payable either in installments or in a lump sum. It is important to read the small print to see if your payment is guaranteed to cover the full cost of the funeral or if extra charges will be payable if the plan is not fully paid up. Remember to tell your next of kin of any plans you’ve committed to.
And finally…. talk to your next of kin and your executor(s). They’re going to be involved, so discuss the arrangements you have made and what your wishes are. Make sure your documentation is filed somewhere they can find it. Make sure the information of anyone who will need to be informed in the event of your death, such as your doctor and your employer is available to them. You can get a ‘Instructions for my Next of Kin and Executors’ form from Age Concern, or simply compile your own using this checklist.
Please don’t wait – put your measures in place and you’ll have peace of mind.
Enduring power of attorney
If you have a critical health condition which is likely to render you incapable of making medical decisions for yourself, you can appoint someone to make those decisions for you. This person then has a Medical Power of Attorney and can legally make those decisions on your behalf.
Living Wills
A ‘living will’ serves a similar function by stating your wishes regarding medical treatment and intervention. The legal status of a living will is unclear but doctors and healthcare staff tend to respect the instructions in a living will. There are many occasions when doctors are faced with a dilemma regarding the course of action to be taken when a person is in a critical condition. By receiving clear instructions through your living will have the opportunity to follow your wishes.
These decisions are not to be taken lightly, so we recommend you discuss your wishes with your next of kin and medical staff. You can revoke the instructions at any time
The Natural Death Association and the Dignity in Dying (previously known as the Voluntary Euthanasia Society) can provide information about living wills.
As a person’s life draws to an end, having visitors can be a great source of comfort, even if they only stay for a brief period. Some people might be put off visiting, as they assume it will be too much of a disturbance. It’s important you make it known to your potential visitors that you welcome them even if you are not able to hold a great conversation. In time, they might regret not visiting you while you are still alive.
If you have been a regular church goer, then your priest of vicar may visit you as a matter of course, but if the congregation is large then a request may need to be sent out. If you are not attached to any religious groups, you are still able to request clerical visits. Your local authorities will be able to help more with this.
It is quite common for people on their deathbeds to request some form of spiritual comfort, and clergymen will be able to offer their help. Depending on your religious persuasion, they can pray with you, and administer holy communion or last rites.
In your last few days, you are in a strong position to drive reconciliation for any family problems or misunderstandings that could be sorted out before you pass on.
You might also want to thank people who have been particularly kind and given to you throughout the course of your life, or in the last few months. It is likely there will be people who will miss you a great deal and would benefit tremendously from words of reassurance from you.
If you sense it is your last few days, it’s worthwhile calling in your executor and next of kin to confirm any instructions and to make sure they know how to access relevant documentation.